Regardless of how long or how short your relationship was, sometimes, the impact of meeting a person, learning about their likings, dislikes, and little quirks, and acknowledging how they made you feel the best often makes it harder to let go completely. So, if you’re wondering how to get your ex back, it completely makes sense!
Breakups are devastating. Whether you were the one who decided to end things or your partner’s “we need to talk” text that waved goodbye to the relationship, it’s also true that sometimes breakups are also temporary.
If the reasons to get your ex back outweigh the reasons the relationship had a fallout in the first place, it might be worth rekindling a new relationship with an old flame. Here’s how you can do it:
8 Steps To Get Your Ex Back No One’s Talking About
1. Accept What Happened And Give Your Ex What They Asked For — A Breakup.
Yes, you read that right, and it is also the same article about “how to get your ex back,” but stay with me here. One of the worst things you can do to sabotage your chances of getting back with your ex is to oppose the idea of the breakup altogether.
The breakup happened for a reason, whatever that may be; this shows that there are things to figure out that you can’t do together. Therefore, instead of going insane over your ex, accept the breakup and implement it!
If you’ve been searching for information about breakups and how to get your ex back, chances are that you know there is a thing called the No Contact rule. It is exactly what it sounds like — severing ALL contact you have with your ex until you are ready to revive the flame again. Learn and follow the No Contact rule to break the loop you’re stuck in.
2. Bring Yourself To The Spotlight
If you had a love that takes a thousand years to reappear, it is only natural to put all your energy into thinking about how to get your ex back the fastest way. But are you sure things will be different this time around? What changed? Did you?
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Though these are tough questions to acknowledge, they are realistic. Rather than wasting your time on making silly mistakes that may push you further from the hope of getting your ex back, devote your time to yourself. Work on yourself; physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally.
Being a happy and confident person is likely the most important factor when it comes to getting your ex back. And you can only get happiness and confidence by working on yourself. This is the time to work on things that may have played a part in pushing your ex to the point of breakup.
3. Showing Neediness, Insecurity, and Desperation Are A No Go Zone
The more you plead, the less attractive it will make you appear. Even if your instincts tell you to message your ex just once, to tell them how well you’re doing on your self-growth journey, know that the only person you’re fooling is yourself.
It doesn’t really work that way. In fact, every time you call or text your ex, you are showing them that you are needy, desperate to be with them, and feeling insecure in their absence. Also, be extremely careful not to drunk dial your ex. So whenever you go out drinking, have a friend along who can stop you from making this mistake.
Showing how much you want to be with your ex is an outdated strategy. That’s not the way relationships get reestablished today. Your ex decided to leave you because they didn’t feel this was the relationship they should be a part of; it’s not going to change with your plea. The only thing that begging will do is make you look like a weak and insecure person.
4. Figure Out Where It All Went Wrong
If it’s triggering for you to revisit the dynamics of your relationship, then you shouldn’t be searching for how to get your ex back. Whereas, if the reminiscence of your relationship still makes you smile, then take a deep dive and try to figure out the major bumps and curves that broke the relationship.
Your time during the No Contact Rule, where you take time apart from your ex, can be handy for highlighting things that went wrong. Remember that we are not playing the blame game here. The approach is highly optimistic and practical. Dedicate time to review the relationship, especially citing things that could have been handled better or differently.
Use this time to have honest conversations with yourself about where you may have contributed to the end of your relationship. Though it deems challenging, it’s always good to reflect and find what genuinely worked and didn’t with your partner. The goal is to get back with your ex, but not the things that broke your relationship.
5. Build Boundaries, Self-respect, and A Higher Self-Esteem
The voices inside your head will repeatedly tell you that if you just agree to everything your ex wants, they will come back. Or that your needs, your values, your passions, and your dreams don’t matter — it’s the love you had that matters the most.
Well, No! The moment you allow your ex to walk all over you, you become a doormat. So, all that self-work you did went down the drain. As soon as you agree to some ridiculous demands your ex has, your boundaries, self-respect, and self-esteem will all tarnish.
Instead, you set clear boundaries and put your own well-being over your ex. It is not being selfish, and there’s nothing wrong with having boundaries and a clear sense of self in a relationship, even if it’s with your ex.
6. Don’t Freak Out When Your Ex Starts Dating
This is often the curveball that may hit your sanity in the nuts. The thought of your ex being with someone else is definitely a gut-wrenching one. But the reality is that it’s not as bad as we make it out to be.
The common truth is; your ex is most probably in a rebound relationship. And almost all rebound relationships end sooner rather than later. Especially if you had a long-term relationship, your ex is also trying to get over you, and unfortunately, rebounds are what most people opt for anyway. However, fortunately for you, it’s one of the most ineffective ways to move on from a breakup.
But for some reason, seeing your ex with someone else can send you into a tailspin, endorsing rage and anger. This may also be the time when holding onto your No Contact Rule may be the toughest. Understand that it is extremely important for you to keep your calm and not remind your ex of the bad fights and arguments you’re capable of, that slowly and surely ate away the foundation of your lost relationship.
7. Contact Your Ex When You’re Ready
The biggest mistake you can make when trying out ways to get your ex back is contacting your ex before you are ready. Recall when and why your ex left you. They thought of you as a person with low self-respect, poor communication skills, and needy.
After not being in contact with you for a while, it’s natural for them to wonder what the heck happened to you and what you’ve been up to. Surprisingly, the time you provided to yourself and your ex by following the No Contact rule has slowly made your ex forget that image of yours (the needy, desperate one), and instead, they will start remembering the things they liked about you.
Meanwhile, you’re working on yourself and playing to your strengths to become a better person. And that’s when you contact them — when you’re ready to handle your ex without becoming needy, insecure, or desperate again.
Be it over a text, randomly meeting them in person, or calling them up, show the new and improved you in the most subtle and classy yet fun way possible. They can’t help but be puzzled about what brought so much positive change in you.
8. Meetup And Let Your Charms Flow
Your ex may be a little skeptical of your 2.0 version when they meet you. Even though you’re a different person today, they aren’t sure if it’s all just a façade or if you really have changed. So stay calm, be prepared for your ex to test you, and do your homework.
Ideally, you want it to be your ex’s idea to get back together. This means not having sex with your ex on your first date. Focus on having a good time with them, and if the topic of getting back together comes up, just listen to what they have to say and establish that you want to take things slow.
Be true to yourself, and put your happiness and mental health first. And if your ex doesn’t respect your boundaries, be ready to walk away as well. There is a very high chance your ex will respect you more and apologize later if you stick to your words. And now they’re hooked.
