Contrary to popular rom coms representation, it takes much more than revamping your looks, organizing a flash mob, or blasting music from Boombox to win back someone after a fallout. In the real world, many things come into play when trying to reconcile broken relationships and ensuring you do it right this time around.
If you’re stuck in a loop and tired of finding ways that actually work to win someone back, then we have 10 tips that are not only realistic but also super easy to implement. Let’s get started!
10 Tips To Win Back Someone You Love
Winning someone’s love back after it’s lost is no easy feat. If anything, it makes things more complicated and challenging as there is no rulebook on how to win someone back with an optimum success rate. However, there are a few tips that you can use to make the process smoother, pushing the chances of your success higher.
1. Consider The Reason Behind The Fallout
You might not care much about understanding the reasons behind lies, especially when you’re at the receiving end. But it goes without saying that sometimes, there’s not much one can do to save a drowning situation than lie. Though this doesn’t make lying the right choice, it can help to consider how you may have reacted had you been in their place.
It is also true that lies cut deep and deeper when they come from people we blindly trust. Some would also argue that the intent behind lies also matters. Be it your friend, family, or partner that you are trying to win back, considering the reason behind why the relationship was severed will explain a lot about how to win someone back. Whatever happened, it’s important to come to terms with how each of you contributed to ending the relationship and decide whether you’ll be able to rebuild the trust you once shared.
2. Respect The Need For Time To Heal
If you lost the relationship you cared about and are willing to give it a second chance, one of the best tips is to respect the time the other person needs to heal. There was a reason the relationship ended, and it’s natural that one or both of you needed time apart. Whether you are the one that needs healing or your partner, it’s important to respect and accept that.
Even if you are feeling the urge to get back together ASAP, honor that initial need for space. Winning someone back takes time. Rather than rushing things, try to be patient with yourself and cater to what your ex and the process requires. By respecting the need for space, you can allow yourself and your ex to be in a better position and mental space to decide when or if you want to try being together again.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
How to win someone back is not going to be a walk in the park. In addition, the nerves can also make you rush the process, and you can end up making silly mistakes, often creating more issues than ever before. Therefore, setting realistic goals and expectations is crucial to winning them back.
To do so, think about how difficult the situation may be. Chances are that it will be far more challenging than you had first assumed. Then think about the course of action you may have to take to win your ex over. Plus, avoid underestimating your ex or taking their forgiveness for granted.
4. Use That Time To Work On Yourself
Yes, you want to get back together at the speed of light. But there are also other factors to take into consideration. For example, what are you doing during your time apart? Are you sitting and whining over your broken relationship, stalking them on social media, or doing something genuinely productive for yourself?
Utilizing the time in a productive and self-beneficial way is key to better overall well-being. Instead of crying over your ex, pick yourself up and do what you love. Invest your time in an activity that adds value to your personality and brings you joy. Pivot your focus towards self-care by defining time for your passions and hobbies, along with setting some personal achievable goals.
5. Reassess Your True Feelings
Once you’ve spent some quality time apart, have focused on becoming emotionally independent, and set realistic expectations, you may be at a headspace where you’d want to reassess your true feelings. When a relationship ends, our first instinct is to find ways to win it back. But is it really worth the shot?
When you truly reflect and have an honest conversation with yourself about what you want, you may have a different answer than what you thought all along. The time you spend apart plays a huge role in defining if you want to be back together with this person. Besides, you may also end up realizing that the two of you aren’t actually a great fit for each other. Therefore, reassessing your feelings can help you to make better and more informed decisions while avoiding the ones largely based on heartbreak, emotional attachment, or loneliness.
6. The Art Is Hidden In The Gesture
Sincerity is your best friend in the quest to win over your ex. Though materialistic gestures like an unforgettable date or gifts are fantastic, their impact is not everlasting. It’s the experience that matters more. The proper way to the heart is by being more thoughtful, respectful, attentive, and charismatic.
Showing up for them in a time of need, being there emotionally, making them laugh, and showing that you’ve actually changed as a better person will have a far greater impact than buying expensive gifts with zero emotional value.
7. Let Bygones Be Bygones
If you’re trying to win someone back, it’s best to put the issues of the past to bed after you’ve had closure. This means not bringing them up at every chance you get. Truth be told, there will be times when the sour memories will stab your heart, but dwelling on the past is going to pull you backward.
Though letting go of certain instances may be challenging for you, when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you’re also signing up to find and rebuild trust in your partner again. Take it one step at a time. However, if you can’t keep aside the painful memories and still want to give your partner a second chance, relationship counseling may help sort out the issues. Regardless, these signs could also indicate you may not be fully ready to have them back in your life.
8. Be Honest And Communicate Openly
It may be hurtful and uncomfortable at first, but honesty is the best policy. There’s no better way to rebuild trust in a relationship than talking openly and directly to your partner about the situation. Acknowledging the hard truths of the past may be heartbreaking for both of you. You may feel upset, and your emotions might be disruptive during this conversation.
At the same time, communicating about your feelings and what you need to do to start rebuilding the trust is also essential. Of course, it is important to be respectful if and when your partner is ready to communicate with you.
9. Rebuild The Relationship – Square One
Your natural intuition/desire would be to pick up where you left off. However, that’s hardly the case in most relationships. When a feud intercepts a relationship, it leaves several voids and crevices that may seem small at first but cracks the foundation of the relationship to the deep end.
Rather than being keen on starting off like you were before, it would be better to take a few steps back and start where neither of you feels pressured to be a certain way. The focus here should be to fill the voids and rebuild the relationship on a solid foundation. There’s nothing better than being friends first, where you can learn about each other with a growth mindset and then make the big decisions.
10. Don’t Give Up!
Just another reminder that winning someone back is not going to be a cakewalk. But all your efforts will be worth it in the end if you’re consistent. Having said that, no relationship is easy, whether new or old. Every relationship requires time, effort, and sincere intentions to work.
You can lose your partner again if all you did was win them back, but now you’re back to your old habits. Never take any relationship for granted, nor expect the relationships to be easy and comfortable.
Conclusion
One thing that relationships are infamous for is that they’re A Lot of work. Opening up to somebody, talking about your feelings, and wearing your heart on your sleeve is overwhelming and intimidating the first time around, let alone the second lap. But with the right set of tools, nothing is impossible.
Whether you’ve broken up over serious issues or merely something silly, winning someone back is still a possibility. Given that you take the necessary due diligence on your part and follow the steps we discussed, you may be able to get back the relationship you care about dearly.
